I'm Open to You! Willing and Ready.

There are a few things I need to be honest about with myself and everyone else. I've been talking about defeating my fear and how I'm trying to be brave. Also, I know I've voiced this to a couple of people close to me, but I think I should say it here - I want to be known, not for fame or fortune, but to make some kind of difference by sharing my ideas. Big problem, though. I'm afraid of what people think. First, the challenge was my family and friends. Never thought I'd get past that without difficulty, but I did (I was the one making the big deal, ha ha). Of course there are some that still concern me, but hey, I'll get over it. Now I realize that the ones I love truly support me and that gives me the courage to write this and to go ahead and live my dream. Everyone else, those I want to reach that I don't even know, is the real problem for me. I mean, what can I say to make people listen to me? I'm eighteen, just graduated from a small Christian private school, lived in a small town all of my life, and I'm still so naive. What could I possibly say that people want to pay attention to? I'm not sure. I'm going out on a limb saying all of this, but I think it's going to matter. God gave me a life for a reason, just like everyone else. It's about time I realize I can make a difference. I may be scared, but it brings me to tears thinking about the possibilities God can bring about in my life if I let him. I'm ready, God. Lead me, take me, and mold me in the woman you have me set out to be. I want with all of my heart to do something amazing for You.

~ tessmarie (June 2, 2010)


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