My Prayer For Him

Dear God, you've brought me through a lot. And this, is something very important to me.
A certain individual has been on my heart for some time now.
I've felt as if I've fallen in and out of love with this boy.
But, he still remains on my heart. Is it something about him?
I believe so, but I know that God must have some part in this. I mean, it seems so pleasantly surreal.

Though, romantically, I've let him go, I still care about him more than he could ever know.
While it might be one-sided, that doesn't change the severity of my feelings.

But this is very unique...
If I still see him around, which I hope I do, and he has a girlfriend, I would hope that she would be everything he'd ever hoped for and everything God could possibly bless him with.
It's taken a lot of pain for me to get to this point, but I'm at peace. And very happy about it. :)

Thank you God for blessing his family, his character, and every aspect of his life.

~ tessmarie (March 31, 2010)


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Those Eyes, That Spirit

What I want is to be able to love you.
But I do, I do. It's the complications that hinder our friendship.
I so desperately want to be myself around you.
You know the real me, you see the real me.
I want you to experience the real me.
And I want to get to know the real you. I want you to be able to confide in me.
I'm not sure what to do. How can I talk to you while showing the admiration and happiness I feel in my heart.
You're beautiful.
I wish I could let you know I feel this way without fear... of scaring you.

~ tessmarie (March 27, 2010)


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This Ain't a Joke No More

Doing a paper on Mahatmas Gandhi...that is unless I fall asleep.

I need to get my act together. I've been slipping for too long and I'm aggravated with myself.
When will I become responsible? I'll tell you when.

NOW.

~ tessmarie (March 21, 2010)


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Friendship For What Reason

This thought has been on my mind.
-People are who they associate with.

I want to be real about this.
Because I don't want to lie to myself... but unfortunately I think I have been.

For years, I was shy. Afraid that people wouldn't like me, I accepted any friend I could get.
I'd like to think things have changed since those times.

I understand that I'm young and so are many of my friends. Teenagers don't exactly make the best choices.
But then again, that can be said about a lot of adults, too. I don't want to make excuses.

The more I think about who my friends are, the more concerned I get. I question my decision to be friends with certain people. I stick to my morals. When I see my friends do something unbelievably stupid or hurtful to others, I almost get sick. People make mistakes. And the Bible says to forgive 70 x 7 (Matthew 18:21). I will forgive, but I'm sure there are people who aren't meant to stay in your life. How is that kind of decision made? I've tried to break away, but I'm always pulled back in. Where does it end?

I see myself getting tired of being around people who are obsessed with worldliness. I love my friends, I really do.
BUT sometimes you have to let go.

At this point...I'm just waiting to let go.

~ tessmarie (March 7, 2010)


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Dear To Me

Speechless at times.

Amazed every day.

Lord God, every time I think of him or see his face, happiness flows out of me.

Every word is a treasure.
Every glance is something to smile about.

His existence is a blessing.

I can't begin to make sense of it.

No one is like him. Some are similar, but it's different.
They're not him.

He is himself and no one else.

He's the guy I can't believe God has given me the chance to know.


~ tessmarie (March 6, 2010)


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You're My Definition of Love

Wrote this in my World History class today.


~You're My Definition of Love~

You're my headache.
You're my heartache.

You're my tears.
You're my laughter.

You're the mystery to my story.

You're my blessing more than my curse.

You are my love.

~ tessmarie (March 5, 2010)


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