My Present (Gift)

Unwrapped in all your beauty~
I gently tore off the paper of glitter and color.
My eyes stared intuitively.
Little did I know what I was about to discover.

The sea of thoughts flowed whenever you spoke
Amazed by your beauty inside and out,
I feel something different. My heart awoke.
You're someone special. I have no doubt.

I am breathless when I think of our Maker
To think He formed you makes me cry.
When you arrived in my life, I didn't know who you were.
Thank God for you. I was blessed. I wonder why.


This was written about a boy I care deeply for. He is someone who inspires me and makes me smile.


~ tessmarie (February 27, 2010)


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

I Feel It.

TODAY WAS HARD, BUT GOD EXISTS.
WHAT ELSE WOULD KEEP ME GOING?
WITHOUT WHAT HE HAS GIVEN ME,
I WOULD BE NOWHERE RIGHT NOW.

~ tessmarie (February 17, 2010)


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Am I Me? Or Am I Her?

~Listening for the Voice~

She's all of me, but less of me.
I speak, she talks.
When I'm upset, she's there observing my thoughts.
Taking note of who I am, who I'm becoming.
Is she the shadow of my soul?
Or the window to my heart?
I don't think I know her, but she definitely knows me.
I wait for her to come.
When she speaks, I will listen.


~The Mirror~

Tears I cry
She wonders why
I smile bright
She replies with delight
Her face is mine
But we have a different design
Who is she?
Am I her or is she me?


~Me (Her)~

~I love you! (You have no idea how much you mean to me.)
~I'm OK. (I just want to cry.)
~What's going on? (I feel left out. Why am I here anyway?)
~What do you think about my drawing? (Do you like it? Is it…good enough?)
~ Can I talk to you? (Please be there for me. I need you.)


As much as I have thought that I did, I do not have an alter ego. But it's kinda fun to pretend that I do. :)


~ tessmarie (February 14, 2010) [Written February 5, 2010]


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

True Strength, It Comes From Him.

I've cried, felt fear. Wanted to pretend it's all OK...but it's not.
I am me. I am who I am. Not perfect, not a model.
I struggle. But I trust God.

Correspondence, you are a challenge.
Police, did you have to pull me over tonight?

It doesn't matter. Life is life.
And God is GOD.

Like Mrs. Trahan says, "I will bend, but I will not break."

Not breaking. Not now, not ever.

~ Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
—Isaiah 41:10 ~

~ tessmarie (February 5, 2010)


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Mental Sick Day

I decided to stay home today. School just didn't seem like a good idea. Last night, my aggravation took control of my entire brain. It told me to give up on what I've been searching for. Usually, I'd combat the negative emotions, but this time, I didn't. No, I didn't want to. Whether it be weakness or just annoyance- I was not going to think about...him. It's stupid anyway. I can't even say his name comfortably. I'm embarrassed to tell my friends once more that I can't stop thinking about him. I've been slamming myself against a brick wall and I want to stop. I wanted a breakthrough, but now I'm not so sure. It'd be easier to walk away and forget I ever wanted into his life. My dreams of our future would disappear. Like a little girl with a crush, I would simply move on.

But as much as I want to move on, I've tried, I can't. I believe in God-given destiny or fate, whatever you want to call it. I don't really know what my future is going to be, even though I pretend I do. Even though life is confusing and I want to stop heading in what seems to be the wrong direction, I don't think I'm stopping. Not now. Of course, the guy's not perfect. Of course, I know that he doesn't want to be in a relationship. But that's not it. We aren't even friends. I just have to face that fact. We were friends. We're currently very familiar acquaintances, I believe. That's what I can't change. That's what I'm trying to change. OK, I've made up my mind. *No matter what you are to me, I can't give up on you.*

Thank God for "sick" days.


~ tessmarie (February 1, 2010)


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.